Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Drug

Human connection and interaction are fundamental needs for the average person, but when do these interactions become addictions? The "drug" is the approval that one feels from the opposite sex. The reason why this is called the "drug" is because it has many of the same addictive traits and short term benefits of drug usage.

It is a natural human desire to want affection, but it is not desirable to be in a position where you mood is extremely dependent on the way others react to you. I often find that my mood is like a roller coaster, high when a girl is giving me attention, and low when I seem to have none or one flakes on me. After a tough break up, people always say to go out and meet people or find a rebound, but this is just feeding the addiction. This may cause severe psychological disruption and can lead to periods of sadness and lessened productivity, especially if you fail. The goal is to obtain as stable of a psychology as possible, and one that is most consistent with your long term goals. This is simply not achievable when your mood is too attached to the approval of the opposite sex or other people in general. So how do we deal with the "drug"?

Probably the best way to deal with it is to dry out from it once you sense your addiction, especially if what is causing the addiction is an unstable situation such as a series of short term relationships with girls. It is certainly not advisable to avoid women for too long. I believe that sharing your life and spending time with the opposite sex is a good thing. However, when you realize you are going from one "druggy" interaction to another, this might be the time to stop yourself and focus on your own life more. This means focusing on your work or on a business or on your personal health. The approval of the opposite sex can be indeed like a drug, and it is important to be aware of this and focus on making yourself happy and content from things YOU have control over. I think this will ultimately lead to a happier life, and you'll be better prepared to effectively handle yourself when you really do meet someone who you'll care about.

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